CEREBROSPINALECTOMY

33 The General Neurologist jokes

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Me: "He needs high-flow oxygen at home.b20260912-11 · The General NeurologistResident: "Rock, paper, scissors for who calls neuro.b20260904-1 · The General NeurologistGrocery clerk: "Long day?b20260825-6 · The General Neurologist
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A party. Someone I have just met.
r20261002s-3 · The General NeurologistA party. Someone I have just met.b20260920-3 · The General Neurologist
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Front desk: "You have an add-on at eleven.
r20261002s-4 · The General NeurologistFront desk: "You have an add-on at eleven.b20260920-9 · The General Neurologist
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Son: "He has started gambling.
r20261002s-7 · The General NeurologistSon: "He has started gambling.b20260910-18 · The General Neurologist
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Insurer: "The machine reports three point nine hours a night
r20261002s-11 · The General NeurologistInsurer: "The machine reports three point nine hours a night.b20260908-14 · The General Neurologist
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Answering service, 2:14 a.m.
r20260923s-1 · The General NeurologistAnswering service, 2:14 a.m.b20260829-1 · The General NeurologistER: "Facial droop, twenty-nine, nothing else wrong with him.b20260824-20 · The General NeurologistIntern in July: "I'll check with you before I do anything.b20260823-1 · The General Neurologist
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Student: "Why does the nerve to the voice box dive down into
r20260913s-1 · The General NeurologistStudent: "Why does the nerve to the voice box dive down into the chest and loop back up?b20260826-20 · The General NeurologistChart says 'acute on chronic.' Same, honestly. Chronically tired since residency, acutely tired since this pager went off. Acute on chronic isn't a diagnosis. It's my personality.b20260809r-2 · The General Neurologist
▶ REEL
3:50 a.m.
r20260912s-6 · The General Neurologist3:50 a.m.b20260827-30 · The General NeurologistHour fifteen. I have been looking at the same sodium for a full minute.b20260827-2 · The General NeurologistColleague: "I'll take your Labor Day if you take my Thanksgiving.b20260824-1 · The General NeurologistInsurance: "Your peer-to-peer window is two to four.b20260823-11 · The General NeurologistDaughter: "His watch gave him a sleep score of 41.b20260911-5 · The General Neurologist'Altered from baseline.' Doctor — it's 3am. Nobody on this unit has a baseline. Not the patient, not the intern, not me, not the vending machine that's been beeping since Tuesday. We're all altered now.b20260809r-1 · The General NeurologistRecords: "We cannot accept the outside MRI electronically.b20260907-15 · The General NeurologistMe: "The AI note says the patient denied recent travel.b20260822-2 · The General NeurologistCredentialing: "We need your medical school diploma.b20260827-12 · The General NeurologistSurvey: "This is completely anonymous.b20260827-16 · The General NeurologistThe weakness starts in the toes and climbs — legs, then trunk, then hands. Guillain-Barré is the one disease polite enough to announce which floor it's on.b20260806-1 · The General NeurologistNurse: “he's a fall risk, I put the yellow socks on.” Me: “the whole floor is a fall risk — it's a sea of yellow socks.” The intervention is a color. Gravity remains undefeated.b20260810-12 · The General Neurologist“Walk heel-to-toe like a sobriety test.” It IS the sobriety test — same midline cerebellum the beer was insulting. That roadside cop was running a neuro exam and had no idea.b20260808-12 · The General NeurologistBroken Q-tip...b20260714b-17 · The General Neurologist
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