CEREBROSPINALECTOMYThings every one of us has done and never once admitted. Four of them. The second one is the one nobody says out loud. SEND this to the one person who is all of them. The worst sound in this hospital is not the code alarm. It is your own name, said gently, by someone who needs a favor. The gentle voice. Nothing good has ever followed a colleague saying your first name softly at 4pm on a Friday. There was a man in the cereal aisle with a rest tremor I could see from two aisles away. I did not approach him. I stood near the cereal for a while. Then I bought a cereal I do not eat. Front desk: "Your two o'clock is here." Me: "It's 3:40." Front desk: "They know." Me: "How are they?" Front desk: "Calmer than you." Running behind in clinic. The waiting room made its peace an hour ago. You did not. Chart says 'acute on chronic.' Same, honestly. Chronically tired since residency, acutely tired since this pager went off. Acute on chronic isn't a diagnosis. It's my personality.
EXPLAINED (ACCURACY-CHECKED)
(1) No medical claim. Hospital-culture observation about how requests are made between colleagues. (2) A parkinsonian rest tremor is present when the limb is fully supported against gravity and not engaged in voluntary activity, which makes it visible at a distance and often more apparent when the person is not using the hand. (3) No medical claim. Outpatient-clinic scheduling humor; the joke is on the clinician, never the patient. (4) Experiential clinician-life gag; no factual medical claim to verify.
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