CEREBROSPINALECTOMY
A sideline 'concussion check' that takes 90 seconds and ends in a thumbs-up is a vibe check, not a neuro exam. The brain didn't agree to your broadcast schedule.
Send this to whoever yells 'he's fine, put him back in.'
EXPLAINED (ACCURACY-CHECKED)
A thorough sideline concussion assessment (e.g., SCAT-style graded exams) takes meaningful time; an ultra-brief check is inadequate to rule out concussion. Framed as culture/protocol satire, not about any athlete.
Established sports-medicine practice (adequate sideline concussion assessment needs more than a cursory check); culture/protocol satire.
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