The system did not break. It is working exactly as designed. Which number made your jaw tighten? (If it's none of them, you haven't been here long enough.) IT: "The ambient AI writes your note now — you just sign it." Me: "It turned 'no purposeful movement' into 'resting comfortably.' I am not signing that." School nurse: "The seizure action plan needs a wet signature and a fax number." Me: "A fax number." Nurse: "For the safety of the children." Me: "The children have phones. The plan does not." Back-to-school paperwork. Every August, a document designed to keep a kid safe in a classroom gets routed through a technology that peaked during the first Bush administration. PCP: "I'm referring her for headache." Me: "Great — when can she come?" PCP: "Your first opening is in March." Me: "March of what?" PCP: "I was hoping you'd know." Specialty access. Two doctors staring at the same calendar, neither of whom controls it. EMR: "Please document tobacco use." Me: "He is four days old." EMR: "Please document tobacco use." Me: "Never. He has never smoked. It has been a very clean four days." The required field that does not care who the patient is. You will answer it. You will answer it about a newborn.